Learn to let go

Humans are restless…literally. The achievers, the creators of their own destiny, the classroom-conditioned go-getters and the never say die kind of species. They would rather make things happen to their satisfaction than holding back and accepting the natural outcome. Making things happen is a more acceptable behaviour in our societal circles.

And such zeal for productive action and perseverance is the very reason behind our greatness, behind all innovations and amazing creations. Taking charge of life and taking preemptive actions guarantees affluence. Successful people are known to exhibit control over their surroundings by making tireless efforts and thereby create their dream lives. We all want to be one of them or we are one of them. So far so good.

But there’s a catch. There has be a price to be paid. This ‘desirable’ hunger for accomplishment and the never-ending thirst for success is addictive and compulsive in nature. Once you care about it too much, it starts to build upon you, an enormous obligation to achieve more and more, a phenomenon similar to peer pressure. You are expected to deliver at all costs and you yourself don’t want to lose, even a slightest portion of it. If you are left behind, you are grappled with the fear of rejection.

Take example to an oblivious author who once wrote a masterpiece and springs to overnight fame by hitting a chance to write for a famous website. Liked and admired by millions, the writer suffered self-doubt while writing the second time due to unduly pressure to deliver even better. And it kept on mounting every time he wrote something more worthwhile. It was all in his own psyche, not that his writing plateaued. That’s the reason so many renowned experts in their fields end up in depressed and resort to alcohol and drug abuse.

Its understandable that we all have limitations and imperfections. And we struggle to accept the fact that we cannot be everything that every other guy expects us to be. When we try to set the bar too high for us and have unrealistic expectations, the only obvious outcomes are frustration, guilt and anger.

This is the problem many of us face today especially in the corporate environment. Guided by the superfluous ambitions, you build on your mind, a constant pressure to perform at a certain level and keep improving. This can result in unwanted stress and insecurity. There are occasions when things don’t fall in place even after putting all the efforts. Under such scenario, you shouldn’t allow yourself to be discomfited. Know your limits and take a balanced approach. If you allow your surroundings to dictate you in your decision-making, your personal well being is bound to be compromised.

Now having said all that, the intent is not to advocate passivity, inaction and laziness. Neither should one stop attempting and pursuing higher purpose in life.

Just that you need to differentiate between what ‘you’ want and what ‘everybody else’ want you to be. You’ve got your own life, don’t make your decisions based on what others expect from you. Do what makes you happy and let go of actions and situations which your conscience resists.

The same applies in personal relations. A relationship (especially romantic) to say, doesn’t work in the environment of insecurity and fear. Generally, one of them (called the weak person in the relationship) feels unloved and demands for something like love or affection which is not available from the strong person. Distances start to build and things head for destiny. But the weak person doesn’t let go and use force and intimidation as tools to find and grab the non-existent love. This way, things only get worse. It’s far better to let go and give freedom to whoever don’t love you back.

Here the old school premise plays well – “The more you squeeze your fist, the more it slips away”. Love unconditionally without the expectation of being loved back. Force is the opposite of love, so don’t force. Love will find you where you let go of the force. Although it’s better said than done, as it doesn’t come naturally to us because of our perennial illusion that we are in control when we are actually not.

A vast array of sources of our grief stem from this single trait of ours, of not ‘letting go’. And this is something to learn and practise. In troubling situations, where we are not in control, we must strive to accept the spontaneity of the universe and let things unfold the way they are destined to. When that is learnt, it’s easy to forgive, easy to admit mistakes, easy to reach out to people and easy to show kindness. Basically our perception of the world changes and we find ourselves better placed to experience happiness.

The pursuit of 'elusive' wellness

All is not well. We, as a society, are in a state of poor health. Diseases, unhappiness and stress are the order of the day. Instances of obesity, feeble achy bones, ballooned bellies and chronically depressed minds are commonplace. More than ever, people are lazy, broke and ignorant.

No matter how fervently you chant that much revered dialogue 'All is well' from a famous Bollywood hit, you come to accept sooner than later that a complete human wellness at individual and society level eludes us. Well, Most of us!  Including the richest and most privileged. 

Seems like quite a negative note to start with. Well...It's imminent to be put like this, unfortunately, for the intensity to be known. Let's face it head-on to understand it better.

"Wellness per se characterises our ability to fully achieve and experience all pleasant, beneficial things life has on offer and keep all detrimental and negative things at bay".

 The pursuit of wellness is something very primal to our existence and everybody is so at it. It begins at birth, when we realise that amniotic fluid is no longer available and we will have to find food to eat. Most of the times, most of our actions are (theoretically) intended to achieve wellness.

Eating nutritious food, exercising, resting, sleeping, working, earning, socialising and are all part of remaining well off. Why then, it is so difficult to achieve. Food for thought.

The evolutionary ballgame

Over last thousands of years entailing breakthrough discoveries, mankind's interaction with nature has changed dramatically and has led to radical changes in diet, activity levels.

We no longer hunt. Access to food and transport is far more reliable and a staggering amount of automation has made us void of any left-out physical activity.

Resultantly, strength and vitality are in a downward spiral. The body composition has drifted from 'muscular and tough' to 'fatty and tender'.

But all this is part of the evolutionary process and there is hardly anything we can do about it. Nature will take its own course in keeping us alive and kicking. 

Does moon landing guarantee happiness?

More than ever, we humans have become obsessed about the economic activity. Things now revolve around profit, GDP and asset creation. Passion, hard work, inventions, projects and programs are the things we live by and we have touched the surface of the moon and the mars. Nothing bad at all!

What’s dangerous is the marginalisation of the actual essence of living as a result. Health has taken a back seat in our conscience and slid further down our priority lists.

To do what we can

Notwithstanding the game of evolution and economics, on which we have little control, there is a general lack of health literacy, the capacity to obtain and understand information needed to make appropriate health decisions.

Our doctors are trained in pathogenesis (treating illness) only. They offer little to no help in achieving holistic wellness at society level and we are left clueless.

And in the wake of our cluelessness, there is too much left to guess. And to fill the void, doctors, trainers, yogis, gurus, nutritionists and who not in the world have queued up to claim the secret elixir of wellness, in turn trying to push us towards buying products and services of multi-billion dollar vested interests. 

Just a small example. There seems to be an ever-lasting confusion about the workable ratio of macro and micro nutrients with fad diets asking you to eat different uncanny portions of meat, dairy, greens and nuts. Paleo, vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free! And everyone claims to make you healthy. Whom to believe?

Fed up of the incessant cycle of random advice and information, we tend to believe the layman's words coming from the trusted friend or the random neighbour only to hear a completely opposite advice after some days from someone equally trustworthy.

The result! Bingo... As good as it gets, we are gullible enough to fall prey to the seemingly great health advice and products. Still, we never come out of the vicious cycle of poor health.

Go get your arsenal!

Knowledge is power. Getting a little conditioning by reading, community talks and searching internet for unbiased, independent information and research will go a long way to arm you with the required wisdom. 

I know such learning might not be something of interest for people who love to spend their time pursuing other passions. But my belief is, all wealth, luxury and physical possessions that you achieve in life, are inconsequential if not supported by optimum health. So, you don't have an option here and must take time out for your physical and mental self in order to lead a happy life. You are missing out on something big by not learning about how your own self functions.

Imagine yourself as a car you drive all the time. Now go for a long drive without knowing basic things like how to change your Stepney or to check engine lubricant level. You are headed for disaster. The greater your knowledge about the functionality of the car, the greater the efficiency, speed and comfort you will be able to derive from it.

So, when next time you watch that ad where a refined cooking oil is claimed to make your heart stronger or when a single capsule is claimed to have everything meant to revitalise your life, your senses tickle and you raise the alarm to rescue yourself. Just a stepping stone in starting to make all lifestyle decisions better and informed. Keep at it.